Newt
Quite how such a troubled boy ended up in the dubious care of the Osborne-Deans is a mystery (rubbish social worker has a lot to answer for). Initially the little emo Nancy-lookalike (real name Barry Newton) settled in nicely, even establishing a fledgling romance with fellow emo and bezzy mate Lauren. But…perhaps it was the gun seige at the Dog or Darren’s shirts but something tipped Newt over the edge and along came his Tyler Durden-esque imaginary friend Eli…uh oh…
Status @ september 2009
After sending Eli packing back in December ’08, young Newt has risen like a phoenix in 2009, transforming into something of an emo lothario (hey, we would) and romancing the all three of the Lauren-Anita-Theresa triumverate. What a stud! Life is never that simple in the Hollyverse however, ill-conceived plan to stop taking anti schizo pills+holiday in the woods+accidental GBH of a radgy chav=the return of someone special…
status @ july 2010
Okay, so in a spectacular schizophrenic showdown, Eli sadly met his demise alongside brand new imaginary friend Rae. Apparently cured of his mentalness, Newt then met the real life incarnation of Rae (yes, really) and abandoned his emo style in favour of a chav rebranding in order to win the heart of his new muse. Job done, he and Rae found happiness (despite a bizarro plot involving an apparent curse where Rae would die on turning 18 – disappointly she didn’t). It was a surprise then, when he decided to up sticks and head to Scotland with his reformed crack whore mum. Maybe he wasn’t so cured afterall.
Adios Newt, we will always love you for bringing Eli into our lives.
August 24, 2008 at 4:00 pm |
I think eli is real, and its all been a big misunderstanding… am i mental too?
August 24, 2008 at 11:07 pm |
eli is totally imaginary! they even made him disappear a few times, and i don’t know anybody real who can do that.
props to WLH who spotted eli’s imaginariness really early on…