Have to say, this week’s ‘Oaks was a bit…what is the word….meh. After the high drama and pure OMGity of Torchwood, the does-Malachy-have-HIV symptoms?-no-its-just-man flu-what’s that?-Mercy-thinks-he’s-cheating-on-her-again? storyline was somewhat dull in comparison.
Still, we’ve done our best to pick out the best bits:
Cheryl!
We love her. We really do. Whether she is decking Mercedes with pugil stick, being on the run for shagging a man to death at Funtins holiday camp, using ‘drain the kitty’ as a euphemism for having a wee or doing dramatic interpretations of Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights via the medium of dance (with added fart gag) she is pure comedy gold (and is it just us, but were she and Kris separated at birth?). Happily, now an employee of Mobs (as most people seem to be at some point in their lives) and a tenant of the apparently not very picky student halls of residence, Cheryl is going to be in our lives for the forseeable future. Yay.
Meet the Osborne-Ashworths
Yeap. The drunken rock star jaunt to Denmark resulted in Hannah and Darren returning, in a taxi full of vom, as man and wife and, after a briefly mooted annulment (due to lack of consummation), both have decided to stay married in a bid to get the Dog back/annoy mother. Unlikely couple as they are, we think this one has legs and we sense a new power couple is rising (or maybe we are just wishing we were married to Darren).
Bad Ash
At first we thought it was Lauren, since she has previous form for tormenting people who don’t deserve it (remember when she and Newt duped Elliot into thinking his dad was returning?), but it turned out to be evil jowly faced Ash who was texting Spencer pretending to be Warren, in a bid to get his hands on The Loft. Not the best laid plan me must say, given that Calvin, investigating the texts, simply called the number and, lo and behold, Ash’s phone started to ring. Machiavelli he aint, but he has potential so we do hope bad Ash keeps up the good work.
In other news:
As if the indignity of getting squished by a mirror wasn’t bad enough, further insult is heaped onto Warren as his ashes are scattered on the pond (yes, just outside The Dog); Darren forsakes the animal print shirt/leather pants look for some casual sportswear/string vest; Steph makes the mistake of hiring Malachy and Mercy to redecorate her flat and what does she get in return? Catching them at it on her sofa. Ew; Zack has sex dreams about Mercy, Carmel and Cheryl, much to Michaela’s chagrin; Daniel and Abi (the nearest the ‘Oaks has to the 456) continue to plot against Ste; like Mrs Ashworth before her, Abi is now the one stop nursing shop at Chester hospital for all medical emergencies, on hand for Malachy’s HIV/man-flu and Ste’s cut finger; Tony has been appointed an ambassador for Kidz with Kidz
Tags: 456, abi, ash, cheryl, daniel, darren, fart gags, funtins, hannah, kate bush, kidz with kidz, malachy, mercedes, michaela, spencer, the loft, torchwood, warren, wuthering heights, zack
